The Good...and the Bad

The purpose of the blog was to be able to keep friends / family up to date on our lives. In order to stay true to that, I need to be able to write the more difficult parts of life as well.  

The following writings will not be gory, per se, but will be more "medically" (i.e. more facts than you might want to know about me :) ) inclined - so if you don't want to know the details, then I would stop reading right about........now. :)

I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon.  During the appointment they did the normal weight and blood pressure check (both good) and checked the baby's heartrate (also good).  She also checked to see if I had made any progress (effacement / dilation, etc.), and....I have not (I am pretty sure if there would be a "negative" stage, that's the stage I would be in).  However, the doctor was unsure if the baby was head down, so wanted to do an ultrasound.  The good news, is that the baby's head is down (and facing the correct way) - which is great!  The harder to swallow news is that the doctor thinks there is a good chance I might have to have a C-section.  

Don't get me wrong, I always knew there was a possibility that a C-section would happen - as I have had friends / family both go through them.  I also have been told "don't anticipate your birth plan going accordingly, as things change and they change fast".  I thought that if a c-section was going to come - it would be in an emergency situation (i.e. stressed baby) - my adrenaline would already be running, and I would just come to the conclusion (very quickly) - let's get this baby out as safe and quick as possible.

However, I definitely did not expect to be told that my body just not be able to have this baby (and it isn't because the baby is ginormous) - it is more the fact that my body (apparently) is small.  The doctor said there is a chance that during labor things could loosen/soften up a bit, but she definitely wanted to give me a heads up that a c-section was a good possibility - major surgery = scary!  So, as of right now - they are waiting on a normal labor and then going to see if things will work out "naturally" or if not, go in and get the little guy themselves.  I have another appointment on Tuesday (the "official" due date), so maybe will know more by then.  There are a lot of thoughts running through my head - if they go the 'natural' route, will the baby be stressed in any way, will it put me in danger, how come I she thinks I am unable to do something so many other women have been able to do (yes - I realize that the doctor will not put the baby in danger if she thinks it is a possibility, and I realize having a small pelvis does not make me less of a woman - but I am just being honest with some feelings right now).  The blessing is that she is aware of the size and can be monitoring the situation a little more closely than if I were to have gone into labor without knowing this before hand - that could have really made things difficult / dangerous.

In the end - all we want is a healthy baby!

Your continued prayers are appreciated!!